1. |
Under the Shade of Trees
04:22
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Under the Shade of Trees
C. McQuate
born into a battleground
the wind is ours to chase
here for but a brief stay to
claim an eighty year terrain
listen close, hear faint echoes of
pursuits, feats, achievements
cast by those who walked before
in long forgotten ranks,
we'll soon take our place
under the sun, all is vain
"let us cross over the river
and rest under the shade of trees"
sojourners, strangers,
captives, we'll no longer be
all that is toiled and labored for
crumbles on banks of old
and peace is brought with a sword
and forged forever more
sifting through the rubble of
these temporary walls
factions scattered beyond sight
a rally for the fading lines
though memories fade, golden bowl breaks
and the silver cord is severed
a truth engrained, a youthful claim
burns brightly beyond the
limitations of soil and skin
"let us cross over the river
and rest under the shade of trees"
sojourners, strangers,
captives, we'll no longer be
all that is toiled and labored for
crumbles on banks of old
and peace is brought with a sword
and forged forever more.
may we remember
may we not lose heart…
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2. |
Expectations
03:06
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Expectations
C. McQuate
it's so much easier blind
to way of harm
its so much safer off at
length of an arm
a wavering dependence
of circumventing sequence
contained, controlled
yet never dimming the hope,
but suffocations gradual
don't dare let go
are your expectations met?
wearied by subservience
slow builds a heart in cement
can these expectations be met?
orange leaves
gray autumnal skies
for a third time
behold the labors of tried, steadfast dual strife
with hopes to complete
that which alone cannot breathe
push to the side
stow it all away
on potential dreams are made
were your expectations met?
closing in around the neck
are your expectations met?
wearied by subservience
slow beats a heart in cement
can these expectations be met?
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3. |
Hand Me Down Memories
03:54
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Hand Me Down Memories
C. McQuate
the lights grow dim and
the hearts come out
unfolding into visible scars
vulnerability shared
a chronology bared
together writhing, we are speared
as one, unraveled and undone
and I lack the strength
to pull us apart
and you lack the strength
to control the bleed
how do you feel?
can you hear?
still small battle
with veracity
yesterdays surrounding
I’ve fallen for your ghost
the stains of time beckoning,
you’re such a cunning host
I placed everything right before you
did not feign hope when you just walked through
fierce devotion blinds
so hard to feel the sunlight
when each day I awake to yesterday’s blight
so near, but still a syllable off
it feels so real, not
fully transparent
'cause I can see through
but not past today
do you know how I feel?
can you hear?
stitching up hand me down memories
yesterdays surrounding
I’ve fallen for your ghost
the stains of time beckoning,
you’re such a cunning host
and in the fight
I am reminded
that I am alive
and in those moment’s peaks
in the aftermath’s fiery heat
I dare say I can vaguely feel a beat
yesterdays surrounding
I’ve fallen for your ghost
stains of time beckoning,
you’re such a cunning host
surrogate following
a role not fully known
so fatigued with pining
with an ever gradual coast
fallen for the ghost
fallen for the ghost
fallen for the ghost
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4. |
Drone
04:17
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Drone
C. McQuate
a thin veil draped between
with which you resign responsibility
you fear those stretches of
acute awareness
freed by abandonment
praise the holy distraction
and bow to the bondage of ingrained affliction
deliberate strides have worn a mark
you're fumbling through the dark
a broken heart
a battered frame
you heal and mend
you maim again
this groove worn deeply through
snuffing out of truth
for chronically despondent
they wave the legions forth
in aimless pursuit
spin which bears no bias
from hands of Independence
temporal cuffs are locked
forgo schoolroom reason
the innocence of a past congealed
oh that hope would be revealed
a broken heart
a battered frame
they heal and mend
they maim again
from outstretched hand
giver of life
trace the scars and compare ours
mainlining for meaning
a drone that's unceasing
and I too am unable to recant
exemption from these snares
swallowed up beneath
these ever crushing waves
the night sky closes around
from barren banks is regained
a consciousness of worth unmatched
still Your presence remains
even in the aftermath
a broken heart
a battered frame
I heal and mend
I maim again
from outstretched hand
giver of life
trace the scars and compare ours
a broken heart
a battered frame
we heal and mend
we maim again
from outstretched hand
giver of life
trace the scars and compare ours
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5. |
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Absence on the Home Stretch
C. McQuate
the dusty back roads
where we were once spared
they no longer retain
the light laughter of yesterday
what of the photos
or the written works?
a cord severed in two
the mere thought threatens to unglue
just never planned it like this
could have never accounted for this…
whatever happened
to your stated plans?
our naïve confidence,
as though sight stretched
beyond that fence
fleeting are the days laid before
and numbered are our steps
here in the ebb and flow,
the unknown
there's an absence on the homestretch
the homestretch…
late hour phone talks
from the school of law
recollecting close call
in back-woods Mississinewa
fleeting are the days laid before
and numbered are our steps
here in the ebb and flow,
the unknown
there's an absence on the homestretch
the homestretch…
oh to have
gone and made that call
as though
it would have made, made all
of the difference
and so instead
I must live with it
the hours checked off
to reach the days
then the months and the years
for this healing to take its shape
how to explain this persistent ache?
just resume and reset
in a world built upon movement
fleeting are the days laid before
and numbered are our steps
here in the ebb and flow,
the unknown
there's an absence on the homestretch
the homestretch…
keeping eyes fixed on this race
steady on the course
with every step it resonates
there's an absence on the homestretch
the homestretch
the homestretch…
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6. |
Arm Outstretched
04:03
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Arm Outstretched
C. McQuate
enshrouded within vacancy
struggles a faint light
proverbial noose
just wont cut loose
crave renewed sight
same customary plight
oh if only to rewind
and reclaim simplicity
so great the cost for so little
a union marred by grief
in the desolation
an outstretched arm
mends a ravaged heart
grace to clothe us thieves
grants captives release
hiding out in open plains
divergence takes time
a Well worn footpath
through looking back
you're tangled and tied
never absent from your side
through the deluge, through the tide
a closeness never feigned
so great the cost for so little
a union marred by greed
in the desolation
an outstretched arm
mends a ravaged heart
grace to clothe us thieves
grants captives release
and All the while
never strayed
never strayed from
never left your side
wary steps to recommence
but missteps we shed
an unseen palm to
break the fall
breath as evidence
how quickly one forgets
our lives as blades, love is bled
with trust comes atonement
so great the cost for so little
a union marred by grief
in the desolation
an outstretched arm
mends a ravaged heart
grace to clothe us thieves
grants captives release
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7. |
Understudy
03:57
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Understudy
C. McQuate
hands, a clockwise force march
as hope melds into farce
and i'm burning my hands on these ropes again
mental atrophy as the tide rolls in
buried fears of whispers
pleading to begin
waiting to begin
riding alongside
your side
always of the outside
it's flatline
understudy
form a disarmament
vacant smile, yet coattails clenched
and I'm stepping on heels
at the peaks of hills
a mimic of motions
while reclining still
entertaining dreams for the mentally ill
swim in lavish swill
riding alongside
faint decline
not far from the outskirts
of a life
I'm hiding on your side
your side
watching from the sidelines
life pass by
riding alongside
your side
always of the outside
it's flatline
understudy
hiding on your side
your side
watching from the sidelines
life pass by
understudy
riding alongside
a skewed line
awaiting some land-mine
to halt time
some day i'll run so far
one day i'll carve my mark
wearied force of motion
awaiting the cue to run
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8. |
Better Off
03:49
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Better Off
C. McQuate
misplaced the feelings
for another day
hide all the reasons
why we act this way
discount the pleading
you deemed it unfit
when you are a reason why I feel so sick
"you'll be a lot better off now"
you'll be a lot better off now
just shelve the pain, move on somehow
you'll be a lot better off now
earnings, accolades
so swiftly dismissed
where was your presence
in the midst of this?
the mourning of two lives
virtually unknown
Thank you but I think I'll go it alone
"you'll be a lot better off now"
you'll be a lot better off now
suppress the feelings
move on somehow
you are a lot better off now
and the world is on fire
and i'm thrown to the mire
with everything you say
ties no longer bind
don't start throwing around "right"
you'll pull the pin that way
no i cannot be consoled tonight
no i cannot be controlled as you might
no i don't want to hear your
hollow words of affirmation now
you'll be a lot better off now
you'll be a lot better off now
just shelve the pain, move on somehow
you'll be a lot better off now
(life plans in your hand)
(life plans in your hand)
you'll be a lot better off now
you'll be a lot better off now
brush off the dust, get on that trail
you'll be a lot better off now...
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9. |
Rest Easy
03:01
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Rest Easy
C. McQuate
Dual paths entrenched
Prevailing distress
A sinking ship
With a claw hammer grip
Illogical, this unbridled pull
Lest future scars and just lay down the arms
Against the odds, against the wall
climbed up the rungs to break the fall
Maintain this job, but I'm far too small
I'm not the one on whom to call
Will I ever rest easy again?
Will I ever rest easy again?
A ubiquitous tide
Grasping for your guide
Will i ever rest easy again?
Transitioning
A full bodied sting
Box up these shards
And move it along
Half mast a heart, reach out for new start
All well and right knows no place in this life
Against the odds, against the wall
Climbed up the rungs to break the fall
Maintain this job, but I'm far too small
I'm not the one on whom to call
Will I ever rest easy again?
Will I ever rest again?
A ubiquitous tide
Grasping for your guide
Will i ever rest easy again?
It's time , it's time
I've made up my mind
It's time, It's time
I cannot decide
But "we're on our way"...
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10. |
Habitual Healer
03:54
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Habitual Healer
C. McQuate
please describe to me feeling
offer reason to what sets this apart
bygone words have left me reeling
with no inkling of how to restart
reacquaint me with suffering
how about the kind we seemed to always wear
for right now I feel nothing
a dry leaf, unnoticed through the air
wounded healer
I've become
all armor peeled back, come undone
valiantly numb
unveil to me the passion
age old fraud I thought i knew so well
all aspirations are absent
please teach me how to say farewell
routine healer
It's begun
spirits waning, damage done
valiantly numb
if this wasn't the right path
why am i standing still?
in the slated time to heal
why am i ever more ill?
and i will vow to try
and i will strive
and i will fight for the claim
to begin breathing again...
routine healer
I've succumbed
a voice that's drifting
a race that's run
wounded healer
I've become
habit healer
no shock, no stun
valiantly numb
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11. |
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